Dear....

(Brief intro. These are small letters to basically everyone if you didn't get that.)

Dear Hollister, 

I'm still recovering. Thanks for the great night.

Dear Starbucks,

I'm not happy with the fact that you are raping my wallet but I'm very happy that I have discovered your 50c refills on Iced products.

Dear Lesbians,

How dare you come to my house in the middle of the night, make me put pants on and make me get out of bed to get you off my property. P.S. I still love you more than everyone.

Dear Teeth, 

Do I want to get my jaw broken in surgery because of you?! Hell no! Get a grip and fix yourself.

Dear Squirrel with the scarf (with a sombrero included),

Send your companions my dearest love and sorrow with the fact that they will have to spend their time with you in the heat and will never want to live again.

Dear Poly,

I don't think you realize but, I would marry you in a heartbeat. The problem is that you are too good for me and I don't think you would ever want that. 

Dear Green,

I wish I could kiss you and Kit-Kat can go away. The End.

Dear GRRM,

Kill Dany and I swear to god I will kill you and feed your lard to starving kids in Africa.

Dear Gym,

Get fired. Go home. Die. And everyone will live so much happier. So please, take my advice and you will save so many people from depression, stress and loss of interest.

Dear 8,

I haven't bothered talking to you because then you will never leave me alone. Plus....you're disgusting. Mwuh.

Dear Egg Nog,

Why are you a seasonal thing?! Is that what makes me love you more? Why can't you always be by my side? Why are you so afraid to come out during other seasons? Do fireworks intimidate you?

Dear Same,

We are legendz. Who runs the world?! WE DO! We are the best bitches that ever walked this earth and Target and Walmart need to get their shit together.

Dear marriage,

.....bye.....

Dear drug dealer,

Thank you for letting me drive your car around the globe and giving me meds to make my pain go away. And for always being there for me.

Dear L.Anime, 

Sooooo.... you're super cool and I'm so glad we have a lot of the same interests and do crazy things together. Also, I feel like we're always telling each other new things to watch, read, etc. and I love that. Our bucket list will probably never end.

-DiMiTRi Snow