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Stories fill my head.
Some of them are real.
Some of them are works of fiction.
Some of them are other people's stories.
Their stimulus sparks my mind that makes the infinite roll of film in my mind roll...and roll....and roll.
*************************************************************
After this Thursday, I will have successfully completed my freshmen year of college at UVU. Looking back at my goals that I've made in my past, making it to college was basically the end goal of all of them.
Obviously I want to have an acting career after I graduate, but what now?
Life is so unpredictable that if you asked me what I would learn about myself this freshmen year I probably couldn't tell you.
**************************************************************
I'm overwhelmed.
People overwhelm me.
Why does this world have to have so much hurt in it?
Everyone has their own saga that is constantly being written down on an invisible sheet of paper and I've been able to read a chapter, or two from many different people and been able to analyze it.
It's heartbreaking.
At times I can see everything while other times, I see nothing. (Probably the medication.)
One thing that has sparked my interest is how vastly people from your past can change, good or bad.
People that you would have expected to look and live a certain way most likely did the complete opposite.
Have I become a different person? I would say so. Have I vastly changed? I wouldn't say so. But, I have grown as a person.
**********************************************************************
This past week I've noticed that I don't necessarily like change and that it can be very frightening.
New job, new apartment, not at home, new roommates, new schedule, summer time....new future.
As I sit here in my new apartment bedroom that I share with my cousin, I think about how within an instant, my old apartment with that certain group of roommates is gone. It will never be the same again.
Gone.
Within the duration of a bolt of lightning.
Did I cherish those moments I had as best as I could?
I'm not sure.
*********************************************************
I want to be normal.
But, as Keira Knightley says to Benedict Cumberbatch in The Imitation Game, "Sometimes it is the people no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine."
I hope that's me.
What is normal?
Everyone says that they want to be normal, but is there even such a thing?
I know that we have a purpose here on Earth but what is my purpose? (the question I ask myself basically everyday) I'm not sure. I have an idea but, I'm still discovering what it is as most people are.
*********************************************************
I wish I was an orchestra.
I'm terrible at speaking my mind/writing it down.
I can express it so well through the beautiful composition of an orchestra.
I wish that could have been how we communicated to people.
Everyone would understand each other a lot better........I wish I could understand people in general.
Why does everyone make all these decisions and mistakes? I want to understand but I can't.
If I could only name one thing that I learned this past school year it's that everyone has a back story they aren't willing to share and that they make decisions that you'll never know the reasoning behind.
And there's nothing you can do.
But move on.
Which is something that is difficult for me.
Stories fill my head.
Some of them are real.
Some of them are works of fiction.
Some of them are other people's stories.
Their stimulus sparks my mind that makes the infinite roll of film in my mind roll...and roll....and roll.
*************************************************************
After this Thursday, I will have successfully completed my freshmen year of college at UVU. Looking back at my goals that I've made in my past, making it to college was basically the end goal of all of them.
Obviously I want to have an acting career after I graduate, but what now?
Life is so unpredictable that if you asked me what I would learn about myself this freshmen year I probably couldn't tell you.
**************************************************************
People overwhelm me.
Why does this world have to have so much hurt in it?
Everyone has their own saga that is constantly being written down on an invisible sheet of paper and I've been able to read a chapter, or two from many different people and been able to analyze it.
It's heartbreaking.
At times I can see everything while other times, I see nothing. (Probably the medication.)
One thing that has sparked my interest is how vastly people from your past can change, good or bad.
People that you would have expected to look and live a certain way most likely did the complete opposite.
Have I become a different person? I would say so. Have I vastly changed? I wouldn't say so. But, I have grown as a person.
**********************************************************************
This past week I've noticed that I don't necessarily like change and that it can be very frightening.
New job, new apartment, not at home, new roommates, new schedule, summer time....new future.
As I sit here in my new apartment bedroom that I share with my cousin, I think about how within an instant, my old apartment with that certain group of roommates is gone. It will never be the same again.
Gone.
Within the duration of a bolt of lightning.
Did I cherish those moments I had as best as I could?
I'm not sure.
*********************************************************
I want to be normal.
But, as Keira Knightley says to Benedict Cumberbatch in The Imitation Game, "Sometimes it is the people no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine."
I hope that's me.
What is normal?
Everyone says that they want to be normal, but is there even such a thing?
I know that we have a purpose here on Earth but what is my purpose? (the question I ask myself basically everyday) I'm not sure. I have an idea but, I'm still discovering what it is as most people are.
*********************************************************
I wish I was an orchestra.
I'm terrible at speaking my mind/writing it down.
I can express it so well through the beautiful composition of an orchestra.
I wish that could have been how we communicated to people.
Everyone would understand each other a lot better........I wish I could understand people in general.
Why does everyone make all these decisions and mistakes? I want to understand but I can't.
If I could only name one thing that I learned this past school year it's that everyone has a back story they aren't willing to share and that they make decisions that you'll never know the reasoning behind.
And there's nothing you can do.
But move on.
Which is something that is difficult for me.
My mind is an infinite film reel, going from thought, to story, to idea, to solution, etc.
-DiMiTRi Snow
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