Inside my mind

The snow drifted through the white sky and spilled into the trees as I walked to my destination while every step I took left an imprint in the snow. 

Everything was stationary and nothing moved but me and the wind.

No sound was heard except the imaginary chimes from the trees and a distant boom of a cannon.

The boom made my stomach drop as I turned towards the source of the sound and saw a woman in scarlet robes with flaming red hair standing not far from me as her lips curled into a smile. 

The snow fell gracefully onto her hair and almost melted instantaneously as if it were fire. It seemed that even thinking about touching it would burn you. 

Nothing happened but the exchange of our eyes with one another- nothing until her fingers wrapped around her robe sliding it off her naked body and on to the ground. 

Her pale skin made it seem as if she disappeared from my view until I could see the outline of her body against the snow like sticks placed perfectly on the soft ground to look like the figure of a woman.

There was something.....about her...that made me want to draw closer and something that kept my feet planted where they were. 

Boom!

I looked through the cracks in the trees and saw that the second boom made snow on the mountain start plummeting towards the forest in a fast rage. 

The woman rose her hand and beckoned me to come with her as the ground shook, the lace of the wind increased and the snow kept coming. 

Without thinking, I ran towards her with all my stamina, ignoring her disrobed body and looking at nothing but her eyes-

-Those eyes-

 -until the avalanche smashed my body and swallowed me into its grasp.... 

as I began to walk a cracked, concrete, brick paved road, wet from a previous rain early that morning. 

The normally crowded park was abandoned. Leaves and damp trash blowed down the main street and architecture that was once beautiful was now consumed by thick moss and leaves almost covering it entirely. 

Windows were smashed. 

Painted signs were in splinters. 

Food trolleys were tipped over with scraps of food spilling out but no mouse in sight to eat them. 

Visions of my childhood filled my memory of all the great times I shared here with my family and friends. 

Of the innocent little child with the jean shorts and the blue baseball hat sitting in the multi-colored fold-up stroller as he smiles at the characters and cuddles with his bear.

But, that child is grown up and doesn't smile as much as he used too.....

I continue to walk down the New Orleans street and find myself at an enormous pile of crushed steel and wood radiating many colors that is blocking off the entrance into the other realm. 

Graffitied on part of the remains it read:

"LEAVE BITCHES! A dream is a wish that never comes true."

I gave a small chuckle at the graffiti and thought it was amusing until the chuckle turned into a subtle cry realizing that this is gone forever and whatever I do I won't be able to get it back and that they don't want me to get it back. 

Darkness devoured me until I was sitting next to a red Volkswagen on a simple hill of a simple town. 

Dawn was breaking and I had the chance to get in the car and drive away from this shitty world like many other people have done before. 

Drive away from all the pain and heartache and trial. 

I wouldn't have to deal with any of it ever again. 

Getting in the car, I would leave behind

my family, 

my friends, 

my desires, 

my future,

my past, 

..................
Cordelia,

Everything would slip away from my fingers but that's not what I want. 

Trust me, I have thought about driving away from here many times before but, as far as I've gotten is only holding the key that would give me access to the car because I love this place too much. 

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Our mind is full of crazy things. 

Full of pleasures and needs. 

Dreams and nightmares. 

Devils and angels. 

But that's what our mind is.

It's a self doubter....but, don't let a self doubter show you visions and memories that will effect what you put there in the future. 

Build gorgeous structures that are hundreds of feet high and are filled with the most elegant gardens. 

I plan on doing that but, I need to clean up a bit first.

- DiMiTRi Snow